I've thought about a million things to write. Some just too personal to share. Well, not really. This was always meant to be a place for us and it seems silly to even think about censoring it. But the truth is, every time one of those silly television shows airs there's about 2,000 more people who find their way here and while I don't mind the browsing of what has been said I simply cannot bring myself right now to share some of the things truly in my heart at the moment. Some things I want left just for the two of us. Somethings still remain sacred to me. To us.
Especially during this time of transition. Seems like my life has been one constant transition since the moment we met. Certainly since the moment you left it. I found this article today and so much of it could have been written by me (if I had a decent writer's bone in me). It was like reading a little glimpse into my soul.
I miss you.
Like crazy.
I'm excited and scared and elated to take the next steps into the next book of my life (I refuse to call it a chapter - you were always more than a chapter - our journey was a saga all of its own). God. What made me think I could type this in the middle of the work day? I've closed my door. The tears are flowing. It's true what they say. A true love never dies.
I lit a candle on the 13th for you. For us. For all that was. For all that could have been. For all that should have been. There still isn't a day that goes by that I don't wonder. Question. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of you. Sunshine Jim. Always smiling. Reaching out with a good jab to the ribs. Poking your head around a corner.
I miss you. I thank you every day for the love you showed me. For the love you allowed me to give. For helping me to know I could love again. For putting people in my path to help me along. You're gone. But not really. You're here. Everyday. Every tear. Every moment.
Love always,
