I'd could start this blog post with the stereotypical "when I woke up this morning" - had I actually ever really gone to bed last night. Irregardless, when I left the hotel room this morning I really thought I'd have a hard enough day keeping my shit together if I dwelt on the occurances of the last year. Today was going to be hard enough and to top it off it had been a very, very, very intense and long, long night. I really thought that the worse feeling ever was the feeling of grieving over the what-might-have-been and the irrepairable whole in my heart. Afterall, today was the one year anniversary of the day that changed our path forever.
But I was wrong.
The worse feeling ever is watching the one you love the most suffer in pain in front of you and not being able to do anything about it.
Wishing you could do anything to take the pain away.
Wishing you could just take their place.
Then knowing that having them stay there is best solution, but wishing you could be there with them to help through the night, to hold and to tell them it will be alright.
Having to stay a block away in a lonely cold bed and feeling completely useless.
Completely helpless.
That is the worse feeling in the world.
No comments:
Post a Comment