Boundaries

Saturday, November 17, 2007

9:25 AM - Boundaries
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Life


"Sometimes, life and people seem to push and push. Because we are so used to pain, we may tell ourselves it doesn't hurt. Because we are so used to people controlling and minpulating us, we may tell ourselves there is something wrong with us.

There's nothing wrong with us. Life is pushing and hurting to get our attention. Sometimes, the pain and pushing are pointing toward a lesson. The lesson may be that we've become too controlling. Or maybe we're being pushed to own our power to take care of ourselves. The issue is boundaries.

If something or somebody is pushing us to our limits, that's exactly what's happening: we're being pushed to our limits. We can be grateful for the lesson that's here to help us explore and set our boundaries.

Today, I will give myself permission to set the limits I want and need to set in my life."

- Melody Beattie, The Language of Letting Go, p. 137.

So, by now you're wondering what I'm getting at... I'm getting at this:

It's okay for me to say: I'm sorry, but I just can't deal with other people's issues and problems and keep my head afloat too.

It's okay for me to say: not this week, my drama comes first.

It's okay for me to feel like I don't need to return the phone call from that individual who placed the call to my cell phone while I was at work (knowing I was at work and that I don't leave my phone on at work) because if the individual cared how I really was then they would've a) called after working hours; b) responded to the phone call and message I left them over a month ago; and c) contact me more than when their numbers start to get low.

It's okay for me to turn down the invitation for an "organized" event when I'm only given 6 hours notice and the notice is by a message on Facebook.

It's okay for me to say: I respect your views and opinions, but your organized religion just isn't for me anymore. Too many men have gotten in the way of their own desires.

It's okay for me to take the time I need to do what I need to do.

It's okay for me to say: you really don't know much about me or my life and if you're going to judge, I'm not going to play. Even those who think they know me, really don't know me.

It's okay for me to hold back. Trust is earned, not entitled.

It's okay for me to pull back from those relationships which are unhealthy and self-destructive. Some relationships just have a shelf life. Many have reached thier's already. Some are getting close.

Some people leave footprints on our life... it doesn't say, some people have the right to trample all over us for the benefit of their own good. Constant negativity is pointless. It's okay for me to break ties.

Life is hard. You deal with it. You deal with it. He said it wouldn't be easy and that He wouldn't give you more than you can handle, He didn't say He'd take care of it all for you. Faith without works only gets you so far. Remember the story of the man in the flood begging to be saved, only to have a tree float by, ignore it, wait for the rescue boat and then declare "nevermind, I figured it out." When you wait around to be healed miraculously through your 'blessings' and take no other steps towards your well being... you're in no better position than the man on the roof.

It's okay for me to say, enough is enough already.