Relief? Regret?

Thursday, May 10, 2007

6:16 PM - Relief? Regret?
Current mood: depressed


This is just me rambling and trying to sort my feelings out. I couldn't figure out why I'm so emotional today. I tried blaming pms but the truth is I really think that today the only excuse I have is the calendar. I can't believe that today makes four months. I don't even know what to think. I hardly know what to feel. Relief? Regret? The only emotion I seem to have anymore is selfpitty. And to top it off, I feel like I'm slowly slipping out of your life... I keep hoping that it's probably just me trying to deal with everything and not really true, because even though I've felt distant and pushed you away the last little while I really wouldn't know what to do with myself if I lost you. There's so much I want right now..

I just want to run into your arms and be held, feel safe again, and know everything will be okay.

I want to look into your eyes and be able to see that you love me.

I want all the pain to be gone.

I want to get those horrible images out of my eyes and that smell out of my nose.

I want to be happy again.

Hearing "I love you" isn't enough anymore I want to feel it, be there, know it.

I want to know that I'm the one you want.

I want to know that we will always be together.

I want to know that you want the same thing.

I want the old me back.

I want the old "us" back.

I'm tired of her getting it all.

I'm tired of feeling so alone in a crowded room.

I'm tired of feeling like we're being pulled apart knowing that in the end all I want is you.

You are my Superman, the one who can make my spirits soar.

You're there every time I need you. I want to re-learn how to let you in.

You are the one that can make any little pain of mine go away.

You make my life complete.

You are my best friend and I love you so much.

Please hold on to me. Please don't let me go. Please.