26 Weeks

Hi Sexy,

No picture this week. I cleaned the hard-drive and haven't had a chance to transfer back any of the pictures I haven't already posted of you and your handsome smile.

This week has been crazy and only promises to get crazier. Today is Grandma's funeral. I found out yesterday that the family will find itself embarrassed and assaulted once again by the vocal chords of the aunt who only thinks she can sing and embarrassed herself and those in attendance at Grandpa's funeral (remember that story... yeah... can you believe they are choosing to repeat that?). To say I'm surprised would be a lie. Nope, not surprised at all. Disappointed. You betcha. Lord knows I'm not the world's best singer... there's video proof of that a few posts back...

It's going to be a long day and it hasn't even started yet.

This week has been hard. I'm realizing that I'm just plain numb. Grandma passed and I haven't cried at all... I bawled Saturday night for three hours... and when I need to express grief I can't. I don't understand that. I've got to find a creative outlet or expression again. The want to is there... the desire is still gone... but I have to soon... I had a migraine bad enough that I had to leave the office on Tuesday. Next stop is seizureville... and I don't want to be there. I can't afford to be a resident there again...

I'm trying to get out more... baby steps... one evening a week I've been volunteering down at the local food bank. It's nice to be doing something. The last conversation we had while you were still on the earth was after I was finishing up a service project in town so you know how much it means to me to be able to get out there again. It helps a little. I just wish it would help with the anxiety that I'm still feeling in my own town... seriously... it's to the point where I can't go to K-Mart anymore... and Smith's was a stretch the other day because I had to park down by Quiznos. I'll probably just start doing my shopping out of town.

I miss you babe.

Love always,
Tara Ann