47 Weeks...

Hi Sexy,

This week I replaced the flowers at the front door... the flowers you never got the chance to see... the flowers I bought the weekend you flew out... the flowers that went with the new window treatments... and the new bedding... all the little things that I was so excited to show you when you got home on Sunday night... and then... you didn't come home.

And even though I know the reason why... it hasn't stopped me from trying to figure out why. How. Why? For the last forty-seven weeks...

For waking up and reaching out for you three, four, five times a night for the last three-hundred-twenty-nine nights.

And I know, I know, I know... you would be the first to say, "stop it."

I had to check a website this week and noticed the now hiring link... instantly I saw everything we'd hoped for... your chance to come off the road, but still be able to do what you do... the pieces would've finally fallen into the right places...

And of course since this is our fairytale... it was a day late...

It's June. I hate June. You're the only person who truly understood why I hate June. And yet, I look back at last June and strangely cherish every moment of it. The good. The not so good. The moments I was scared and terrified of... the moments that I thought were the longest and hardest of my life... I am now realizing that they were nothing more than trivial worries... or were they? Could I have seen it coming? Would we have been able to change the outcome?

It all comes back to that. It always does.

I miss you Honey. It's as fresh as yesterday. I still feel like I should be waking up in your arms this morning... and maybe, just maybe, if I'm lucky enough... I will.

Love always,
Tara Ann