But now this is where I say, "Babe, it would be easier to suck it up and deal with it if I still had my partner in crime to escort me to the fiasco and poke fun at the village idiots..."
Instead I'm spending over $500 to "attend" a wedding I can't really attend... rush through pictures that I've now been given the option of not appearing in... seriously... that's the only part of the day I can be a part of... and sucking it up.
Because I don't want to hear it 10 years from now... but damn if I'm not already completely o.v.e.r. i.t.
Which is frustrating because I should be happy for her. But it's hard to be happy for someone when they're being completely selfish... and completely disregarding their side of the family... you know... the side that has to travel more then 10 minutes across town...
O.V.E.R. I.T. ... and I've got a month to stew on it... yeah me.
3 comments:
hello tara...:( sounds like your having a rough period. and it is understandable. just remember that jim would want you to be happy and move on kid. i know you will never forget him and the time you shared together ( just as i will never forget him and the impact he made on me and my life) but he would understand trust me on that.
you have stood by him and his memory and i for one appreciate it.. although i know it is difficult and does not change the fact that he is no longer with you and the rest of us in a physical sense, be thankful that the people who took him from your and our lives will be locked up for (hopefully) the rest of their lives . i know you will never forget him but he would want you to live your life to the potential that i know that you are capable of. if you ever need someone to talk or rant to please feel free to contact me either on myspace,facebook, or email (scottayanez@gmail.com) and if your ever in oklahoma ( i know you have a sister living here) feel free to geive a a heads up and maybe i will be able to meet the woman that my friend thought so highly of ...:)
Well look now when you go there you will have someone else to visit. :) So I am totally siding with you on this one. I completely agree. It is time to think about others too. I know it is her wedding but geeze she needs to get a little perspective right now. So I say you have every right to feel the way you do. I mean crap I got married in Utah just to make it a half way for both sides of the family. That really isn't where I would have picked but hey it made everyone happy so that is good right?
@ Scott - thanks :) It means a lot to hear that you've appreciated the crusade I've led in Jim's memory. I've not heard as much from anyone closer to the situation, and so it is nice to hear it. I also appreciate the advice on moving on, but at this point I'm not in that position until at least after the last sentencing. This isn't as done as I think everyone has believed or been led to believe. Possibly after that moment I can even start to think about the next book in my life. I am going to be in OKC next month, but it will be for less than 24 hours and a packed 24 hours at that. Perhaps the next trip, or you're always welcome to come to the sentencing on October 26th in Canon.
@ Becky: Thank you for making me feel less crazy!!!!!!! I suggested Denver for that reason, but as you can tell... I'm flying out to OKC for the day instead...
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