I can hardly believe it was nine years ago today that you waltzed into my life. I had no idea then that it would change as much as it has. That I'd learn to love the way I did. That I'd learn to trust the way I did. That I'd learn to be able to put my faith and trust in someone so completely. So fully. That I'd learn to laugh. To truly laugh.
Our first picture together... I remember the hike up to the springs like it was yesterday. Your laughter. My "grace." Feeling your hand in mine.
Our last picture together. You laughed at me. As if that was anything new. I remember telling you to just suck it up and take just one for me, please, because we'd not had one for awhile and God forbid something happen to you. God. If I had only known that on that exact day, if not at that exact moment, their plans to make that our last picture were being finalized. I would have pushed for a better picture. But I had no way of knowing. You had no way of knowing. So we laughed knowing that you were out of focus...
It was like you were already fading out of my life. Preparing me for that moment you would be gone. What if I hadn't teased you about not having a picture of us... what if I hadn't thrown that statement out into the universe?
I wish you were for one more minute. One more minute to put my arms around you. One more minute to taste your lips. One more minute to wrap my fingers around yours. Just one more minute to breathe you in.
I love you Jim. I'm trying to be strong without you. I'm trying to move my life along. I really am. But it's just not the same. Because no matter how hard I try... nobody replaces you. I'll love you until the end Babe. Forever. And ever.
Love always, forever, and one day more,
me*
1 comment:
I love Gerard Butler. Have you seen his movie Dear Frankie? It is fantastic.
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