Those who knew Jim best will recognize the fact that he's trying desperately to smile and keep his dip in his mouth at the same time... not always the easiest feat for him to perform... but he always managed to do it... chewing wasn't his favorite habit of mine... but for him I made the exception... and tried not to nag him too much about it. After all, I knew the stresses he was dealing with and he promised to quit for me and the kids starting this fall after everything settled down. Despite the fact that I can't stand the mess that ends up everywhere when you open up the can... I'm more than frustrated that all I really want right now is to smell that musky scent one more time... and I can't open the frickin' can... I know you're smiling down laughing at me again Mr. Waddles...
One of the songs that Jim loved to listen to and made me stop what I was doing when it would come on to point it out to me has now played three times in one way or another this morning... so I'll leave you with the lyrics...
One of the songs that Jim loved to listen to and made me stop what I was doing when it would come on to point it out to me has now played three times in one way or another this morning... so I'll leave you with the lyrics...
"Here Without You"
3 Doors Down
A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me
The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me
Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it's all said and done
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me
3 Doors Down
A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me
The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me
Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it's all said and done
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me
4 comments:
I am so sorry you have to go through this;(
How are his children dealing with the loss? If I may ask. I can't help but be curious. Seeing how painful this is for you and reading in your blog about what a good father he was. I feel sorry for the children.
Thanks for your comment AGWB.
I wish I could tell you how his son and daughter are doing... but I really can't. Sadly, I simply do not know. It's a long post in and of itself that I am not ready to write yet. I would mention more here, but some members of his family read the blog so I don't feel it very appropriate to air what I've been given the impression they see as dirty laundry... perhaps they'll see these comments and leave one in response to you. I can only imagine how his son and daughter are doing. Not knowing damn near kills me. While I didn't have a daily relationship with the children directly, they have been a large part of my life for quite awhile. Every decision Jim and I have made has been with their welfare and futures in mind. I grew very accustomed to my daily reports on their comings and goings... you could say I'm having A and B withdrawals as well as Jim withdrawals. They have always meant a lot to me. I feel sorrowful for them as well as Andy's child. These people were not thinking rationally (obviously) when they destroyed so many families.
I am so sorry to hear that and will pray that you have a relationship with them someday if that is what you want;)
Of course it is what I want! I was looking forward to the relationship we were going to have this fall... my life is just as empty without the kids in it as it is without Jim in it.
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