This picture was taken on one of our "working" vacations...wherein Jim worked... and I vacationed...
I have so many things I want to say tonight... I thought for sure if I logged and typed them out I would feel better. Instead I've hit delete more times than is worth it. That probably tells me something right there. It's just so hard to verbalize the random thoughts running through my head... and sleep is not coming easily.
Every time I close my eyes I see those pictures...
I hear the voices that go with the pictures...
I visualize the cruelty that Jim suffered at the hands of people who interacted with the kids on a daily basis...
my heart breaks into a million more pieces...
and I wonder how much stronger I can be without him here to hold me.
4 comments:
Tara,this real picture of Jim shows the round shoulders of his broken down soul and one can see the cruelty from the evilness in his life. In the last few years, Jim's spirit has reached out for your good spirit for this tragic ending. I do not get the impression his demise was to happen any other way. Your spirit was to be immediately at his side to validate his life and to insist to bring to light and stop the demons that Jim and his children have played through their entire lives. Those that know you know that the pain his villains continually created, how personally you would take it because they hurt HIM.You know he protected you from these beasts the best he could until you could face the world as a solid team.That "team" was what gave him the strength to somedays put one foot in front of the other and face those monsters. Seeing things as only black or only white,some will never understand-or appreciate you and your part. It's their loss. You are his rock. He's not expecting anything else.He's still encouraging you and even laughing and rooting outloud when you "bulldog" in and for HIS name.He'll let you know.Maybe not with a cellphone in his hand and in you ear, but with the warmth in your heart.
Tara,
You have such a talent for photography. Seriously, your pictures are stunning. I love to see them. You and Jim are in my prayers!
Tara,
Just thinking of you & letting you know I'm here if you need anything at all....
Thanks everyone. It's comforting to know that so many people care.
Post a Comment