I have learned that there are a few times in your life when there are no need for photographs. When the images of the moment are forever blazed in your memory. The afternoon one June... that day at the doctor's office one January long ago... the night in the hospital last winter... his smile... the afternoon he said goodbye for the last time... the back of the car when it turned to head to the airport... the road up the hill... the clearing at the top... the water's edge... the afternoon in the courtroom...
I don't have to have a picture or even close my eyes to remember the images of those un-remorseful, cold, evil, individuals. I can only hope that now when they close their eyes they see the image of me in that courtroom staring back at them. I know it will be a long time before they realize the magnitude of their cowardless, calculated, and malicious actions. I can only hope that in the meantime the images of Jim and I haunt their dreams the way their actions have haunted my life.
They'll never know (and quite honestly even if they did they aren't the type to comprehend) how empowering it was for me to see them in their jail issues and foot to wrist shackles. To know that the process of justice has begun... to know that now I can close my eyes without seeing their faces... to know that they no longer have the power to haunt my every thought... to know that the kids are finally safe... and that Jim can be happy too.
I don't have to have a picture or even close my eyes to remember the images of those un-remorseful, cold, evil, individuals. I can only hope that now when they close their eyes they see the image of me in that courtroom staring back at them. I know it will be a long time before they realize the magnitude of their cowardless, calculated, and malicious actions. I can only hope that in the meantime the images of Jim and I haunt their dreams the way their actions have haunted my life.
They'll never know (and quite honestly even if they did they aren't the type to comprehend) how empowering it was for me to see them in their jail issues and foot to wrist shackles. To know that the process of justice has begun... to know that now I can close my eyes without seeing their faces... to know that they no longer have the power to haunt my every thought... to know that the kids are finally safe... and that Jim can be happy too.
3 comments:
To be in the same room. . . . I can barely stand it. I don't know how you did. Sending some healing vibes;)
Wow, that must have been so emotional. I don't know if I would have been able to look at them... you are amazingly strong. I am glad that you are seeing justice in action and that you and Jim's kids are now safe.
Thanks Teddy & Kelli :) You two have been so wonderful to me! Keep sending the healing vibes, Teds, they're needed...
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