I ventured into the "man cave" tonight looking for some curlers (yes, I am fully aware of the irony). While digging around in one of the drawers I found a disc that had some photos I had completely forgotten I had even taken... at first I was elated... a moment later I was standing in front of Jim's closet with the doors wide open and the tears streaming down my face... these pictures were taken over Presidents Day weekend in 2005 at the zoo in Billings, Montana and while, sadly, I did not have any pictures of Jim in the mix... one look at these and the memories of that weekend come washing over me... so intensely that I can still smell the air and fell Jim's hand in mine... and I needed that today.
It's been a long rough day... full of decisions I never should have had to make... and right now I'm just trying to make peace with everything and keep my shit together... because as Paul Auster said, “Attempts to flee from yourself are useless.”
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