Happy Father's Day...

To the man I still consider the world's best dad.

Happy Memorial Day...

In honor of Memorial Day... Jim doesn't have a "graveside" per se but I did make it up to my leaning tree at the Bedford, Wyoming Cemetery where I left a little treat for the birds and squirrels tucked up in its branches.

♥ you forever Waddles :*

4 Days... 1300 Miles...

That's what I did for Memorial Day weekend... I took off Thursday afternoon for Missoula, Montana to visit some new friends. I've never been to that part of Montana before. It changed how I think and look at Montana - it was so green and pretty! Nothing like the drive to Billings!

On the way there I saw this cool sign... so I had to snap a picture of it and send it to my little brother who now thinks there is a town in Montana named "after his awesomeness" (can you tell he's going to be 11???).



While I was there I forgot to get my camera out so sadly I don't have any pictures of my day in the Missoula area. We took a morning and drove up near Kalispell too. I was having fun but not as much fun as I would've like to have had so I took off early and decided to visit my grandmother outside of Logan, Utah on Saturday. I left before lunchtime and got down there in enough time to sneak into Mass (albeit about 15 minutes late...). I puttered around town with my grandma for a day and then came back home to Jackson via my parents' place in Star Valley.

My crazy route...



And the crazy number of miles I put on my truck between Thursday and Sunday...



The number one thing I realized this weekend... I like to be by myself. I enjoy my own company. The other thing I realized... I still miss Jim. Not having a graveside to take care of and visit makes this weekend hard. So instead I try to think of all the places we went together. I keep coming back to the last Memorial Day weekend we spent together here at home hiking, taking pictures, having breakfast at the same restaurant we'd enjoyed our first date, and laughing through all that life was rolling at us.

I may not have a grave to visit, but I have him near me to hear me say, "I love you Babe. Just as much today as I did on July 10, 2008."

Merry Christmas

I'm just not feeling it yet this year. This could change... but at this moment I'm not.

Merry Christmas to everyone... kiss your loved ones and enjoy the day...

A Christmas Eve MeMe...

Eggnog or hot chocolate? Hot chocolate :)


Does Santa wrap the presents or leave them open under the tree? Wrapped in a completely different wrapping than anything else... unless it's too big than it's just got a bow on it :)

Colored lights on a tree or white? White on my trees, colored at my parents. I'm not a fan of colored lights. I like the crisp clean look of the white lights.

Do you hang mistletoe? Yes.

When do you put your decorations up? Whenever I feel like it but not until usually at least a week after Thanksgiving.

What is your favorite holiday dish? Prime rib.

Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? We can usually convince the parents to let us all open at least one... even now as adults ;) Some years we've opened them at midnight... ;)

How do you decorate your Christmas tree? I have a tiny tree that I put cranberry red roses in.

Snow: love it or hate it? Not really fond of it but I've lived in it long enough that it wouldn't feel like Christmas without it.

Can you ice skate? Oh hell no. I went once in 8th grade on a field trip somewhere in Sacramento, California and decided it wasn't for me...

What is your favorite holiday dessert? It used to be the Mexican wedding cookies... until I became allergic to the ingredients... I really haven't found anything to replace them with :(

What is your favorite holiday tradition? Ordering pizza for Christmas Eve dinner and Midnight Masses.

Candy canes: yum or yuck? Yuck.

Favorite Christmas show?

Happy Thanksgiving...

I'm heading over the river and through the woods (most literally since I drive over the Snake River 3 times and through a couple of National Forests...) to spend it with family... but as I prepare for the day I can't help but think back to that wonderful Thanksgiving we spent together three years ago... the one where Jim was so giddy with excitement and full of life he was singing in the shower like a little kid... and stood there shaving and humming the Wedding March... that's how well the week went... because whenever we were together it was always a blast... no matter what the circumstances were...



Lots of laughter, lots of fun, lots of food. I was trying so hard to be the perfect version of a homemaker... and the spread was damn good if I don't say so myself... even the slightly burnt fresh green beans... okay, they were very burnt, but hey, dinner isn't ready until the smoke alarm goes off right? I was a little tired from getting up very, very, very early to start cooking enough food for 10 people even though it was just going to be the two of us... and I may have forgot I had them on the stove... okay, if memory serves me right I had a valid distraction ;)

We were in the smaller condo at the time. We spent the day snuggled up on the couch going through my boxes of accumulated memories from years gone by. Jim helped me decide which letters from which ex boyfriends to keep - willingly! I'd just moved into the condo a month before and was still unpacking... and Jim was gleefully helping and brought me the box to go through while we were watching the Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends marathon (totally his choice). It was full of random things from high school through college. I was all for just chucking them right then and there. But he insisted on my going through them first... and even suggesting I keep a few of them despite my best efforts to throw them away. But I digress...

The turkey turned out perfect. The potatoes only slightly lumpy. The gravy divine. The corn and deviled eggs yummy. The world's sexiest, wittiest, most caring man sharing the meal with me. It was the perfect first Thanksgiving.

We had no way to tell it would also be our last.

Today, when you're gathered around the table with the one you love sitting next to you, squeeze their hand, if only for a moment, and be thankful they're able to sit there with you.

Happy Veterans Day

Today our nation honors those who have served to keep us free and to keep us safe.

Grandpa Warren was in the infantry and served as a cook.

Uncle Freddy served in both WWII and the Korean Wars.

Uncle Budd was also a valiant veteran.

My Papa Jim was on the USS Wasp serving as a radio tech during the Korean War.

And my very own "little" brother, Ted, who served on the USS Nevada as a missile tech during Operation Freedom.

There are countless other uncles and relatives who have unselfishly served in the armed services. The list, while never too long to mention, just isn't the same without the visuals to go with it. To see the valiant honor in these mens' eyes. To know that I come from a family of such strong character.

This year I'm especially thankful for the rights afford us. Even if it was a lengthy and complicated process, I'm thankful to have the opportunity to experience the process.

Thanks to all our veterans, current and past, for all you do. On this day. And everyday.

Ohhh Getting Too Old...

To party like I'm still in college... but oh did I have fun! SLC was a blast. I now know why Kathy Griffin loves her gay men... they adore and worship you! I've never had so many compliments in one month let alone one night... with the added bonus of knowing there wasn't anything behind the compliment - no ulterior motives. Getting to visit with my buddy and meeting his partner were just added perks to the weekend. I'm so glad I went. Even if my 31 year old body has been staging a revolt ever since. Staying up until 4 a.m., while fun, may not have been exactly what I needed right now... especially since just a few days before the party I was traveling back and forth from Colorado. Anyway... here's me in my costume... I forgot my camera so I'm waiting for someone to post a full body shot on Facebook... it may still be a couple of days... for now here's the shot I snapped with the cell phone before heading upstairs to the party...

And to think I was going to buy some false eyelashes!

And here's the extra special tombstone that was made just for me... every guest had a special "stone" just for them... only this friend could get away with it...

Maybe next time he'll make the sign grammatically correct :) On a more grownup note, it was nice to get out and talk to adults again. The party had well over 100 people at any given time and they came from every varied walk of life. Carpenters to software developers. Attorneys to painters. Detectives to elementary school teachers. And those weren't the costumes it was the people in them.

All Souls Day...

Day of the Dead.

The day we leave the yummy treats on the headstones of those we love who have departed ahead of us.

I celebrated a little bit early this year. I drove up to one of the multiple cemeteries in Star Valley a few weeks ago delivering a bunch of sugary goodness and paying my respects to friends and some family who are in one of my favorite cemeteries (is that sick, to have a favorite cemetery?). I love the Bedford cemetery. I really do. The view from the top of the hill is amazing. So much so that I took Jim up there when we were driving around that 4th of July.

I wish there was a placard for people to remember him by as well. A place. A space. The man who gave so much received so little respect in the end. But that's another story.

For now, I laid his candy under the big leaning tree.

Happy Halloween...

With much poking and prodding and volunteering to watch the kiddos... I'll be celebrating tonight's festivities at a friend's place down in Salt Lake City, Utah. It promises to be one hell of a shindig... and from the pictures I've seen in years past... it will be.

I've picked up one of these as a hostess's gift for the hostess in appreciation of the invite and the place to crash while I'm down there... and I'm taking a case of these to make sure I can stay awake long enough to enjoy the fun.

Enjoy your evening and where ever the night takes you... be safe, be smart, and have fun!

What's Your Tradition....

With the impending holiday, I thought I'd ask what your family's tradition is for Halloween... All Hallow's Eve...

When I was a lot (A LOT) younger my mom would pack us all up and take us to the Halloween activity at Pioneer Village (which apparently has now been changed to the Kern County Museum) and we'd go "door" to "door" through the Village collecting our treats.

When Kidd was younger I'd take him to the local Living Center so he could go "door" to "door" at each resident's room. It was a win-win situation. He got loads of attention and candy and the wonderful people residing in the home got to see him dressed in his getup... and generally speaking... that meant they got to see me in my matching costume... be it a princess to his knight... or Robin to his Batman... because that's the kind of big sister I am :)

Labor Day "Laboring"...

Now that I can finally sit upright enough to type again I figured I should post about our Labor Day escapade... and since I can't figure out how to upload more than 4 pictures to blogger I'm just going to lay it out here in collage style...

Let's just say we rode... and rode... and rode... and I thought I was going to fall out of the saddle the last six miles because I was completely exhausted. The next time I totally put my foot down from the beginning. I was pretty tired before we even started since I'd only been back in the state for 3 days and hadn't had a chance to sit still for very long... any way... I still don't know how far we rode. I know we were up at the crack of dawn and had the horses loaded and were up in Bedford by 7:30 in the morning. We took the trailer up to one of the lower turn outs by Strawberry Reservoir and rode in to the Reservoir... at about 8:30... and we went back to North Fork Lake... up behind Haystack... and out the White Creek trail in the Greys River area. On the highway it's 25 miles from Bedford to Alpine... I'm guessing it's at least that far if not a bit farther going up and down the range...

I have to say when we pulled up at Mr. C's I was pretty excited. There were people there that I'd not seen in a decade... like my best friend from high school's dad and notsolittleanymore brother... and the church youth leader who taught us all what you're supposed to do when you see a Popeye headlight... but that enthusiasm wore off quickly...

So starting at the top left of the collage...

The first picture is of the trees at the top of the mountain where we stopped to eat lunch at (9,400 feet according to one of the guy's GPS things). The second shot is the shale rock cliffs immediately to the west of where we ate. Only slightly higher than we were... but just about as steep where we went down.... as depicted in the third picture because between those trees is where it drops down and where we let the horses go and then where I managed to ride down the mountain on my ass for a couple of hundred feet... it was steep and nasty and at the point I was D.O.N.E. I wasn't expecting to go on the ride so all I had with me were really old tennis shoes that I happened to have in the car because we'd gone out and about at Dirty Gulch while in Colorado. The last picture on the top row is of Kidd and Jayden, who sadly at 10 and 11 whined less than me at 31.

The photos in the middle are of the guys having lunch on the top of the mountain (there were 11 of us in all and my mom and I were the only women on the ride)... Mom resting... Mom and Dallas being convinced into taking a picture together (we never seem to get both of them in the same picture at the same time)... Kidd and me attempting to take a picture of the two of us (hardest feat of all because we both have GINORMOUS heads)... Kidd trying to stay on the mountain while he eats... a map of the area we rode in (we rode in the tan Greys River District... started just east of the 89 marker and came out at Alpine)... and the view back down the mountain when we stopped for lunch... you can't see where we started... it's below those trees and miles and miles down and between the mountain crevices there.

I came down one entire side (had to be a 10% grade) of the mountain with ONE stirrup because the rigging on mine slipped (likely when the horse and I had to slide down and jump the slate crevices) (plus the new saddle needs some serious adjustments and breaking in)... which meant I held on for dear life with my thighs... and couldn't walk for 3 days after. We were horseback riding and yet my feet were killing me... again... stupid stirrups... felt like I was riding on shards of glass by the time we finally reached the trailers parked up Greys.

Of course, once we're safe and sound and loading up horses the men declare that THIS... T.H.I.S. was the worse ride they'd ever taken anyone on... that what we rode was as bad as it gets... and the roughest terrain they've likely ever ridden... geeze. Now I know why their wives didn't come along. Thanks guys.

Happy 4th of July...

(The last picture taken of the two of us)

This was us on the last 4th of July at the local rodeo. We drove down and spent the day with family. We wanted to spend one more full day together before the work week so we left early. On the way through the canyon Jim decided to tell me how much fun he was having and to mention that maybe, maybe we should've gone ahead and spent the night. That was us. Always a day late and a dollar short. We pulled back into town just as the grand finale of the Music in the Hole was being displayed above the city lights and mountain tops.

This year just wont be the same without him. If it wasn't for the fact that it's my littlest brother's birthday the next day I'd opt out of the festivities this year... but that wouldn't be fair to him and this year has been hard enough on all of us.

How I Spent My 3 Day Weekend...

Attending a funeral...

Weeding...

Raking the pasture...

Horseback riding... and

Hanging out with these two for a day...

Kindra getting a kiss from Molly Jo

T.J. way past a naptime and ready to go home

My Three Jims...

Remembering for Memorial Day Weekend

(passed October 12, 2008)
My first Jim... my Papa. A veteran of the Korean War.
My first hero.

(passed August 16, 1994)
My Uncle Jim (and my Papa Jim).
My first loves.

(passed July 10, 2008)
MY Jim. My true love. My forever. My hero. My best friend. My confidant. My lover.

I hope the three of you are sharing a cold beer and good laughs up there this weekend.

I love and miss each one of you.

Not What You Expected...

I know, I know, I know.

I really should be working on a wonderful post honoring my amazing mother who has been there for Jim and me through thick and thin, everything in between, and everything since. She's watched me go through things that no woman should have ever had to on more occasion than once. She's sat through pictures and evidence that even the goriest of cable network shows wouldn't broadcast and she's done it without flinching. She remains Jim's second loudest cheerleader. And that's just what she does for us. That's not counting all she does for the other nine and their spouses... or her own husband and his family.

But I can't focus on anything more than how I spent this weekend last year.

We were so in love. So happy. Having worked our way through so many adventures already, we were very ready to start on our next series of big adventures. I teased Jim mercilessly about how "romantic" he was... calling him a slug in the romancing department (he was so far from that, but he'd laugh at me and it made him smile so I'd throw it out there every once in awhile)... he flew home for the weekend and was greeted at the airport with a great big smile and hug... and roses spread out on the bed in the shape of a giant heart... I thought he was going to break down and become a girl on me right there and then... all teary eyed at the thought of someone taking the time to do something like that for him. We had an amazing weekend doing nerdy things that only the two of us could really appreciate... like touring the local museums... the wildlife refuges... and planning for this year's taxes... yeah, in May... what can I say?

Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

Happy Cinco de Mayo! In honor of the day, I'm making my chile verde... the one that Jim could eat the entire batch in one sitting... the one I got as a family recipe handed down from one generation, to the next, to me :)

Don't Forget Your Green Today

Something that I'll have to remember as I'm heading to the in town office to work on a project today. I hope you all have a wonderful and...



Be safe. Be responsible. But enjoy the day!

Happy Groundhog's Day

Remember the post wherein I referenced how Jim and I are this random plethora of tidbits of knowledge... knowing a whole lot of everything... but not really anything about one thing specific?

Well, your tidbit of completely useless knowledge for today is that not only is it Groundhog's Day... it's the official HALF. WAY. MARK. FOR. WINTER. It's the halfway point between the Winter and Spring Equinoxes.

Can I get a collective HELL. YAH!

Because I am so over this winter already... I thought last winter was long... and physically it was because it was bitter cold with lots of snow... but this winter... this winter has been so emotionally and mentally draining that it feels like it has already been two winters worth of time... and it's only February... which probably wouldn't matter if I didn't live in the tundra (as Jim often lovingly referred to our area) where we have, as Garrison Kellor I believe once said, 9 months of winter and 3 months of bad sledding... or as the locals here say... 9 months of winter and 3 months of company.

So here's to a cloudy day on the east coast... in hopes that Punxsutawney Phil will not be scared away by his shadow... and spring will be on its way!

Christmas MeMe - Sort Of...

Since I've now received this diddy from more than one person I figure I'll take the lazy man's way out and post it here... so the next time I get it I can just send the link ;) No, seriously though, thanks guys for thinking of me :)

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Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your friends. Okay, here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be a SCROOGE!!! Just copy (not forward) this entire email and paste into a new e-mail that you can send. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know, INCLUDING the person that sent it to you.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Neither. I take the presents to the local hardware store and have them wrapped for me (and yes, sadly, the men down there can wrap better than me!). With the exception being last year when I stupidly tried it anyway...

2. Real tree or Artificial? One tiny little artificial tree my mother gave us years ago. This year though, it may not even come out... I'm still trying to decide...

3. When do you put up the tree? See above.

4. When do you take the tree down? December 26th.

5. Do you like eggnog? Depends on my mood.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Hmmmm... I honestly have no clue... the only one I can really remember is the burgundy suede bracelet my mother made me one year.

7. Hardest person to buy for? Mr. Waddles. And not because he's gone this year... he truly had everything a man could ask for... love... family... priorities... when it has all fallen together you don't need the material things.

8. Easiest person to buy for? Kidd

9. Do you have a nativity scene? A very simple crystal one.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Last year we sent this by email and comments on the various social networks:

This year I'm not sure what or if I'm doing anything... I just haven't gotten that far...

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? No gift is ever bad if it's given with the right spirit and intent.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? This. I don't really classify it as a Christmas movie, but it only plays this time of year and my favorite song on it can only be requested this time of year... so that in and of itself will have to make it a Christmas movie.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? In July.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Yes...

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Pumpkin pie.

16. Lights on the tree? All white.

17. Favorite Christmas song? Little Drummer Boy.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home.

19. Do you shop on Black Friday? Nope. Mostly Cyber Monday... but this year I didn't even think about it.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? An angel.

21. Do you go all out decorating? I have been known to...

22. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? One present on Christmas Eve.

23. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? The burn out I get from listening to Christmas songs from Halloween until January 1st.

24. Favorite ornament theme or color? My pig ornament collection (you'd have to see it to appreciate it... it's not as tacky as you might imagine...).

25. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Whatever I don't have to cook ;)

26. What do you want for Christmas this year? A speedy conviction.

27. Who is most likely to respond to this? Shan... and probably Teddy if she can put down her new 'baby' long enough ;)